yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
