I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
