I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
