Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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