she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
