At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
