Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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