turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
