I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
its not stalking. its research.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
