you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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