sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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