chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
its liver damage thursday
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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