Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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