question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
