Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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