mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
