Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
