where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
