"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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