I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
