There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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