do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
