He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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