that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
