I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
