forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
