6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
