You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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