you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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