its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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