At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
