i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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