what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
