that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
ttyl tear gas
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
