I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
