Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
