I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
