Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
