I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
