I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
