yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
