do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
