tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
