i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
