Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
