I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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