Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
