if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize