I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
