I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
