I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
